Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Emotion



For weeks now I have been a total news junkie. I started paying close attention when Tunisia got started, then got into it hardcore when Egypt started moving too. At first it was all excitement. It got so intense I couldn't help booking a flight and heading for Cairo to spend a couple of weeks there. Two weeks of total excitement, joy, hope for the future, just all around intense feelings.

While I was there Libya got started, and Bahrain, and the others, which I watch a little less closely due to the sheer load of information. Then I got back to Switzerland and kept watching.

The excitement is mostly gone now. I'm not sure what it has been replaced by. Every day, I wake up and go check, I go through so many videos and pictures of people dying, or getting hurt, while others line up behind them, willing to face the same fate to fight for freedom. Now there is Japan too. I have always loved Japanese culture. Those people may not be fighting for their freedom, but it is no less heartbreaking to watch. I also still worry about Egypt a lot as well. Will we sink back into the abyss whence we have risen?

I didn't know in the beginning. I didn't know how I would feel after seeing so much death, and sadness. Now when I see all those people getting hurt I can... feel it, sort of. It's a little odd. I would have expected to become desensitized over time, but it hurts more now than it did in the beginning. I hang out on Twitter a lot, where there are many cool peeps watching the same things, gathering the same info. We joke around, keep things cheerful, but we all know we are witnessing really sick shit and that it really is no joke.

It feels bad, and I don't know what it is, or how I will feel tomorrow, or if any of this can be damaging from a psychological perspective. What I do know for sure is I won't stop watching. I want to bear witness, I want to know, I don't want to shut my eyes or look away. If there is pain, then I want that too. I want to carry it with me forever. I want it to remind me of the principles people died for, the principles we now live for. I don't ever want to forget.

Above all I want to keep hoping we will all see a better tomorrow for Egypt, for all our brothers and sisters in Libya, Bahrain, Yemen, Palestine and whoever else believes in their freedom. I want to hope for Japanese people too, that they will overcome nature's harsh test and rise again stronger than before. For American workers too, and even for Israelis for whom I have no hate even if I totally disagree with Zionist ideology.

I want to keep hoping for all humanity.

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